i imagine. i dream. i fantasize.
more often than not, i question myself, my sanity
as i walk through the scattered shelves of my mind
lined with bottled dreams, beating against the glass…

blindly wandering a maze of glittering fantasies,
i consider the thinnest of possibilities
stumbling down aisles where the dreams no longer sparkle
instead emitting heavy, quiet shadows that stain my heart
settling, a dark, writhing mass in my gut.

dreams are the sustenance of children
a glowing mist that lifts people beyond their nightmares
down the path beyond.

so. i imagine. i dream. i fantasize. just like you.

but...what am i to make of my world?

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honestly, i overthink things so much i might drive myself insane one day...
i do have a lot of questions, which quiet frankly overload my brain till there's room for nothing else.

what would it be like to willingly accept a hug from anyone?
to not be hypersensitive of how close a person is
feel their presence surround me, closing in on me
each person's distinct smell floating in the air
…how i wish i could.

or else...

what would it be like to get stabbed?
my life blood pumping out, overflowing from my cupped hands?
how much would it hurt? could i still fight back? would i scream?
who would help? who would care?
would i survive?

in light of things, i don't really think about how such problems affect me as much as others. like if i could accept a hug from friends without feeling like they're intruding horribly into my bubble, how that would make them feel.
or if i were to be stabbed, what would that bring out in people around me.
etc. etc.

well, hope that made even the slightest sense. i think too much.

now, away from the big, the bad, the deep, and the serious; onto the other random shit in my brain. haha.

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Recent Quotes I Heard and Liked:

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." - cousin, Aaron

"I dreamt of eating a 10-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up, the pillow was gone."

"It's not about the size of the boat, it's in the motion of the ocean." - my science teacher, Mrs. Cancino, in sex ed. [HAHA this one is so perfect. for all the other guys out there who are insecure, it's not all about size. xD]
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Random Fact: kenji's hats are bomb. :]

that is all.

-lin